Nationalized Health Care Free Essays

The subject of nationalized human services inspires instinctive responses from supporters and adversaries the same. The levelheaded contention for such a program is frequently lost in enthusiastic manner of speaking. The individuals who don’t approach great human services need it. We will compose a custom exposition test on Nationalized Health Care or then again any comparative subject just for you Request Now The individuals who can exploit the most recent advancements need to keep on doing as such. The profound quality of the issue, notwithstanding, is immaterial until we answer a couple of essential inquiries. Would nationalized medicinal services bankrupt America? Would the nature of care be acceptable? Would advancement be slowed down in a governmentally controlled framework? These inquiries have been bantered previously, however it is quickly turning out to be obvious that America should push toward such a framework so as to have a solid, gainful workforce in the 21st century. Proof shows that it very well may be done, and at a lower cost than what may be normal. Contentions against NHC Rivals of a nationalized social insurance framework dread the making of a tremendous government organization. The organization itself would bring about extreme assessment raises. By its tendency, they state, a government administration of this size can't work productively and successfully. Choices on close to home social insurance ought not be placed under the control of the government. Benefit drives advancement. Therefore, it is nothing unexpected that most of clinical advances have been made in the United States. A governmentally controlled framework will, by its tendency, limit the benefits of firms occupied with clinical examination. Harvard University market analyst Kenneth Rogoff was cited in an ongoing issue of Reason Magazine:  If all nations pressed benefits in the wellbeing segment the way Europeand Canada do, there would be substantially less worldwide development inâ medical technology.(Bailey, 2005) Reports of long sitting tight occasions for care in nationalized frameworks, for example, Canada’s have additionally stimulated adversaries of NHC. Americans merit the best in medicinal services. By what means can a framework that depends on proportioning of human services give the best in care? The individuals who can manage the cost of it approach the best social insurance in the United States. For the individuals who can't, there are now numerous choices. Medical coverage pools, Medicare, Medicaid, emergency clinic and corporate help programs give a security net to those without standard protection. The mind-boggling cost of heath care basically can't be borne by the government. Duty increments will cause the loss of occupations and make a delay the economy that benefits nobody. Contentions for NHC Numerous Americans accept that they are getting the best social insurance on the planet. This isn't really evident. Death rates and different proportions of generally speaking wellbeing fall behind different nations that have nationalized single-payer frameworks. The expense of human services has likewise become a significant issue that will have gradually expanding influences through the economy. An ongoing article by Julie Appleby in USA Today refers to prove that should concern bosses attempting to keep up a gainful workforce: As of now the normal yearly expense of the most well known kind of insuranceâ plan offered by managers hit $11,765 this year†¦Average premiumsâ have risen 87% since 2000, while laborers income have risen 20%.â (2006) The multi-payer, multi-layered arrangement of social insurance in the United States produces billions of dollars of waste. Indeed, enough cash could be spared by moving to a solitary payer structure to pay for the social insurance of the 46 million Americans who are not guaranteed. A New York Times article refers to confirm from a New England Journal of Medicine study that a solitary payer framework could really cost less:  †¦administrative costs spoke to 31 percent of all out wellbeing careâ spending in the United States, about twofold the extent in Canada, which has a solitary payer system. (Lohr, 2004) In our present framework, claims are rearranged to and fro between protection organizations, managers and the administration. The expense of this paper rearranging can't be disparaged. The time included additionally punishes the supplier who may need to trust that months will get paid for administrations as every organization attempts to arrange a great cost. Dr. Himmelman, a co-creator of the NEJM study infers that: The reserve funds from moving to a solitary payer framework, evaluated, wouldâ be generally $375 billion every year. That permits you to cover everyone. (Lohr, 2004) Spreading the hazard among the whole populace would likewise decrease costs. This, indeed, is the means by which insurance agencies bring in cash. With the whole grown-up populace paying premiums to the administration as assessments, the expense for any one individual is held to a base. Development can, does, even now exist under a solitary payer structure. Medication organizations, for instance, will even now approach government assets for innovative work. They despite everything can procure colossal benefits by growing generally utilized medications. Tolerant monetary help programs, which most medication organizations have, would never again be important in a completely protected country. They will likewise set aside cash from just managing one substance. That cash would then be able to be utilized for R D. Advancement has not evaporated in nations that have single-payer frameworks. For instance, a large number of the ongoing advances in the treatment of adolescent diabetes have started in Canada or Europe. The Edmonton convention gives want to a fix through islet cell transplants. Their examinations are currently being repeated in the United States. Benefits are as yet huge for inventive organizations in those nations. In the U.S. the benefits for these inventive firms are not really as high as one would anticipate. The lions’ portion of medicinal services benefits in our framework goes to the insurance agencies. Those organizations bring in cash, in actuality, by proportioning medicinal services, accordingly spreading their hazard. Typically, they are against a nationalized framework that would remove them of the circle. Investigation and Conclusion Incredible insurance agencies and other campaigning interests have had the option to thwart a nationalized medicinal services framework. The last significant endeavor was made right off the bat in the Clinton administration. Our nation has changed significantly even from that point forward. The hearty economy has drawn a large number of new specialists. Simultaneously, social insurance costs have spiraled to exceptional levels. Proceeded with financial development requires a profitable, perpetual workforce. The Census agency appraises that 46.6 million Americans are without medical coverage, extraordinarily restricting their entrance to preventive consideration. Preventive consideration is the absolute most significant component to keeping up long haul wellbeing. Millions additional individuals are under safeguarded. Who are the uninsured? As indicated by the New York Times:  Eighty percent of the uninsured are individuals from working families.But either their managers don't offer medical coverage or they findâ their portion of the employers’ designs too expensive.(Lohr, 2004) Some who oppose a national framework contend that singular wellbeing bank accounts can be a powerful method of paying for social insurance. Sometimes, this is valid. An inquiry emerges, be that as it may: Can wellbeing investment accounts stay aware of the spiraling cost of social insurance? For a great many people, it is improbable. A solitary payer, nationalized human services framework would have different advantages for the United States. Boss expenses would be decreased, liberating them to extend their organizations and make more occupations. The authoritative expenses of a solitary government framework would be huge, yet at the same time not exactly the multi-payer framework we have today. People would have ensured access to preventive consideration, a demonstration that has been demonstrated to set aside cash over the long haul for both the individual and the framework. Progressively solid days for the laborers implies more creation at work and more development of business. That, thus, carries more expense income to the administration. In the event that expense increments are important for the underlying set-up of the framework, they will be more than counterbalance by the abatements, or disposal, of social insurance premiums. Given the idea of our worldwide, serious economy, it just bodes well to keep however many individuals sound and beneficial for whatever length of time that could be expected under the circumstances. This implies everybody must have access to medicinal services. Tragically, this is getting dynamically progressively troublesome. In the long run, the country will address a monetary cost for this. Fortunately the proof gives us that national social insurance isn't as costly or inadequate as we may might suspect. The United States can bear the cost of a national wellbeing framework. Rather than being a delay the economy it would be an energizer. At some point or another it will get essential. Sources Appleby, Julie. â€Å"Consumer disquiet with U.S. social insurance grows†. USA Today, 16 Oct. 2006. Bailey, Ronald. â€Å"2005 Medical Care Forever†. Reason Magazine, 15 Jun. 2005. Clancy, James. â€Å"U.S. ought to receive Canada’s general human services model†. National Union of Public and General Employees [online] 2004. Gotten to 27 Nov. 2006 from http://www.nupge.ca/news_2004/n22se04c.htm  Lohr, Steve. â€Å"The Disparate Consensus on Health Care for All†. The New York Times [ The most effective method to refer to Nationalized Health Care, Essay models

Quebec Essays (1096 words) - Politics Of Quebec, Quebec,

Quebec Quebec's Quiet upset: What right? How has it changed Quebec's general public? How has it influenced Confederation? The English-French relations have not generally been simple. Each is continually contending and blaming the other for wrong doings. This scorn and contrasts began before, and this Quiet upset, directly after another Liberal government drove by Jean Lesage came in 1960. In this way was the start of the Quiet Revolution. Lesage had a phenomenal group of bureau priests which included Rene Levesque. The Liberals vowed to complete two things during the Quiet Revolution; one was to improve financial and social norms for the individuals of Quebec, and the other was to win more prominent regard and acknowledgment for all the French individuals of Canada. The Liberals began a program to assume responsibility for hydro-electric force organizations. French-Canadian designers from all over Canada came back to Quebec to chip away at the venture. Trademarks during these occasions were we can do it and bosses in our own homes. The administration additionally began to supplant programs the Church recently ran, which included emergency clinic protection, annuity plans and the start of Medi-Care. For these projects, the Quebec Liberals needed to battle with Ottawa for a bigger portion of the duty dollars. Probably the best change was the modernization of the whole educational system. The Church used to possess the schools of Quebec. A large portion of the instructors were Priests, Nuns and Brothers. They gave decent instruction yet Quebec required more in business and innovation. Lesage needed an administration run educational system that would furnish Quebec with individuals in building, science, business and trade. With the new opportunity of articulation, loads of books, plays and music about French culture were totally evolved in Quebec. French contemporary dramatists were well known during that time. Be that as it may, not everything was working out in a good w ay in Quebec. The French-English connection was turning sour. Numerous investigations demonstrated that French-Canadian Quebecers were winning the most reduced compensation in the entirety of the ethnic gatherings in Canada. Different grievances were that the top employments in Quebec were given to English speaking Canadians. Canada was experiencing the most noticeably terrible emergency in its history, and except if equivalent organization was discovered a separation would almost certainly occur. Some Quebecers felt that partition was the main arrangement. They felt that as long as Quebec was related with the remainder of Canada, French-Canadians could never be dealt with equivalent. The FLQ (Front De Lib?ration Du Qu?bec) was established in 1963. It was a littler, increasingly strong gathering of separatists. They were an assortment of gatherings of youngsters whose thought was to utilize fear mongering to accomplish freedom for Quebec. The ALQ (L'Arm?e de Lib?ration de Quebec) wa s considerably to a greater extent a brutal dissident gathering. A portion of their activities included ransacking banks so as to get cash. For their ammo they needed to assault arms warehouses of the Canadian Armed Forces. There were numerous Federalists that accepted that nonconformity had no future and that French-Canadians could assume a job in a bi-lingual Canada. There were three Quebec men that had faith in Federalism. These men were Liberals and their names were Pierre Trudeau, Jean Marchand and G?rard Pelletier. The President of France, General De Gaulle came to Quebec in 1967 and offered addresses to nonconformist gatherings that esteemed him a fan of the musings of the separatists in the battle to battle for the freedom of Quebec. The Prime Minister at that point, Lester B. Pearson, censured De Gaulle's comments and said that Quebec had a place with Canada and there was no requirement for their freedom. In 1970, British Trade Commissioner James R. Cross was hijacked by FL Q and needed in kind for Cross, 23 political detainees. Quebec Labor Minister, Pierre Laporte was likewise captured which begun a Quebec emergency. Following a couple of months Cross returned when Laporte was killed. The Quebec emergency finished quite a long while of savagery in Quebec. This emergency made numerous Quebecers upset since Ottawa sent the military into Quebec. Subsequently English-French unrest didn't end. Rene Levesque was a pioneer who turned out to be exceptionally mainstream in Quebec with his perspectives on autonomy. In 1976, Rene Levesque and the Parti Quebecois won the Provincial political race. Presently numerous Quebecers figured he could develop Quebec. Since many French

Korea and the Internet :: Computers Language Communication Papers

Korea and the Internet Since its introduction to the world an age prior, the Internet has been ruled by the English language and North American culture. In a 1998 study led by the Internet look into gathering, eMarketer, 66% (68 percent) of a little more than 60 million Internet clients overall dwell in only two nations, the United States, with 37 million clients, and Canada, which has a little more than 4 million. Around 60 percent of the Internet have PCs are situated in the United States. Nine out of 10 Internet clients today are English-talking. No less than 82 percent of home pages (sites) are in English, as indicated by the Internet Society’s study of 60,000 PCs with Internet addresses. However some anticipate a conclusion to this electronic authority. The quantity of non-U.S. Web clients is going to dwarf those inside the nation soon and increment by nine-overlap throughout the following five years, from 16.4 million of every 1997 to 143 million continuously 2002, speaking to a yearly development pace of 70 percent. All things considered, the current act of leading business, introducing news and data, and performing conversation on the Internet should be radically changed. The far reaching utilization of English will in the long run be challenged and the Internet itself will get multicultural. This is as of now occurring. A consortium of American PC organizations has built up a general computerized code known as Unicode to permit PCs to speak to the letters and characters of for all intents and purposes all the world’s dialects. Significant web indexes like Yahoo and Excite offer their administrations in numerous dialects. Netscape Communications in association with the main Latin American Internet administration, Star Media Network, gives a free Internet control in Spanish and Portuguese. Internet providers in dialects other than English, similar to Star Media, are beginning to give world and local news, climate, stock postings, email, talk rooms, Internet access and that's just the beginning, all in the users’ local language. Given such turns of events, self assured people contend that a long way from terminating assorted variety, the Internet will advance it by permitting even little gatherings of individuals to disperse their messages around the world. By surpassing the center range dialects, it might really secure minority dialects compromised with elimination. A more extensive scope of dialects on the Internet implies from a certain point of view that a more extensive scope of thoughts will be traded in a the internet, the since quite a while ago guaranteed worldwide town. In spite of an enormous convergence of non-English dialects as of late, in any case, the Internet has far to go before it turns into a genuinely multilingual medium.

Police Ethics and Deviance free essay sample

Morals and the police is a subject that a great many people are keen on. At the point when individuals utilize the words morals and police in a similar sentence, individuals for the most part consider police aberrance, police defilement, unfortunate activities, for example, medication and liquor misuse, sexual viciousness, local debates, and savagery inside families. Most normal subjects individuals generally partner with police morals is police mercilessness, police double dealing, and maltreatment of their position. Cops in the United States are given enormous power and wide scope in utilizing that position. Likewise, to the normal resident, the police are the most noticeable image of the United States criminal equity framework as well as the United States government. (Wadsworth, 2005) Ethics is characterized as the functional, regularizing investigation of the rightness and misleading quality of human lead. As per â€Å"Ethics in Crime and Justice: Dilemmas and Decisions†, by Joycelyn Pollock, some moral measures of police are: hierarchical worth frameworks or codes of morals intended to teach and guide the conduct of those that work inside the association, a pledge of office which can be viewed as a shorthand rendition of the worth framework or code of morals, and The Law Enforcement Code of Ethics as advertised by the International Association Chief of Police. We will compose a custom article test on Police Ethics and Deviance or on the other hand any comparable theme explicitly for you Don't WasteYour Time Recruit WRITER Just 13.90/page Wadsworth, 2005) Ethical measures in policing are the accompanying: to serve and secure people in general, keep an unmistakable brain and not permit their own convictions to shield them from pushing somebody, to not decide by race, religion, or sexual inclinations. They likewise need to set aside any sort of biases regardless of what they accept to be correct or wrong, however above all they have a pledge that they take to guarantee that all the police morals that are set up they follow to a tee. Some police have no idea what morals mean. There are a few officials that accept kickbacks to look the other way. There are a few officials that keep medicates out in the city, or permit wrongdoing to happen in light of the fact that they advantage enormously from defilement. Degenerate practices effectsly affect a police office and the encompassing zones they serve and ensure. These practices comprise of police debasement, police unfortunate behavior, and police mercilessness. Police defilement is presumably the most widely recognized ethic abnormality in a police division. Defilement happens when police misuse their clout for individual increase. Regularly time’s officials get installments so as to look the other way with regards to specific wrongdoings. These installments are cash installments as well as come as close to home favors, tips, and pay-offs. Police defilement may likewise incorporate confining a suspect to perhaps redirect consideration from another speculate they are making a difference. There are two unique kinds of debasement, inner and outer. Inner defilement is the unlawful demonstrations and understandings inside a police office by more than one official. Outside debasement is the unlawful demonstrations and concurrences with people in general by at least one officials in a division. There are three unmistakable components of police debasement that need to happen at the same time for a degenerate demonstration to happen: 1) abuse of power, 2) abuse of authentic limit, and 3) abuse of individual accomplishment. The outside defilement by and large comprises of at least one of the accompanying exercises: 1) settlements to police by basically non-criminal components which neglect to agree to tough rules or city laws, 2) adjustments to police by people who ceaselessly disregard the law as a technique for bringing in cash and, 3) clean unite where cash is paid to police for administrations, or where kindness limits are given as an issue, obviously to the, police. General police aberrance can incorporate segregation, lewd behavior, terrorizing, ruthlessness, and unlawful utilization of weapons. Nonetheless, it isn't especially evident where ruthlessness, separation, and unfortunate behavior end and debasement starts. (2002, December) Police offense occurs because of police defilement. Sorts of unfortunate behavior include: bogus admissions, bogus capture, misrepresented proof, bogus detainment, terrorizing, police mercilessness, police defilement, political constraint, racial profiling, sexual maltreatment, and observation misuse. Police wrongdoing additionally incorporates taking hush-money, inappropriate inquiry and seizures, badgering and bigotry in law requirement. Police wrongdoing disregards the pledge of harmony officials and their duties as local officials. Survivors of police offense can be illegitimately blamed and indicted for violations they didn't submit. Police unfortunate behavior additionally makes doubt among police and the open that they are intended to serve and secure. Police offense regularly goes uncorrected in light of the fact that individuals don't know or comprehend their privileges as residents. Educated residents can forestall police unfortunate behavior and turn away brutality, unjust feelings, and maltreatment of power. Police unfortunate behavior is the exemption that most cops are honest residents, yet when offense happens, police divisions appear to be absent and neglect to address the issue properly. 2002, November) Police severity is the unnecessary, preposterous utilization of power against residents, suspects, and wrongdoers. An investigation indicated that most residents whined against cops in view of the utilization of obscenity and damaging language towards them, the utilization of orders to proceed onwar d or return home, halting and addressing individuals in the city or looking through them and their vehicles without reasonable justification, the utilization of dangers to utilize power if not complied, pushing with a nightstick or drawing closer with a gun, and real utilization of physical power or brutality itself for reasons unknown by any means. Police fierceness causes an absence of correspondence between minority gatherings and the police division and an absence of trust due to past run-ins with severity. Now and again police fierceness runs over into an officer’s individual life too. There have been a few situations where an official is captured because of aggressive behavior at home and prompts an examination of their work life. More often than not there are smoke screens, when local questions happen with the goal that the division doesn't get negative inclusion if the occurrence was to get out. 2002, November) Ethics are viewed as a structure for most divisions in the United States. There are a few rotten ones that get ravenous and are arrogant now and again and imagine that they can't be contacted in the event that they foul up. Police offices around the U. S. have a few issues with debasement, offense, and ruthlessness. More often than not these issues are concealed so that, these officials don't give the offic es terrible names and individuals don't confide in them and they, are having more wrongdoing on their hands as opposed to overcoming the wrongdoing.

Changing Flora and Fauna in the Canadian Arctic

Vitality Crisis Essay Each nation on the planet utilizes vitality. For instance: to cook. It is getting one of the essential needs throughout everyday life. Be that as it may, where does the vitality originated from? In the year 2008, 85% of the force that we are utilizing was nonrenewable vitality, which implies that sometime in the not so distant future, these energies will be no more. Be that as it may, at this moment, there are individuals who have begun utilizing sustainable power source, for example, sun oriented vitality. There are in excess of 7 billion individuals on the planet at the present time and it will continue rising while the vitality assets are draining. Despite the fact that there are numerous energies that are inexhaustible, the sustainable power sources are more diligently to utilize, which is one reason why relatively few individuals use them. Likewise, they require some cutting edge innovation. On the off chance that we don’t discover another thing to supplant oil, coal and gaseous petrol, we won’t have the vitality to use later on. One of the types of the sustainable power source is sunlight based vitality. Sun powered vitality utilizes vitality from daylight to make vitality for our home. Daylight is a spotless, sustainable asset. There are numerous approaches to get vitality from daylight, for example, the photovoltaic (PV) boards, changing over daylight into power and sunlight based power, utilizing the sun’s warmth to deliver power. Sun powered cells, or the photovoltaic boards, convert daylight legitimately into power. We can frequently discover sunlight based cells in number crunchers and watches. Since sun based cells are comprised of semiconducting materials, materials whose conductivity will increment with temperature, daylight will lose their electrons, permitting the electrons to course through semiconducting materials to create power when daylight is ingested. Sun oriented power is isolated into three sorts: explanatory trough, dish/motor, and force tower. Illustrative trough focuses the daylight through mirrors. The mirror will be tilted towards the sun, warming the oil that is streaming in the funnel inside the board. Warmed oil will at that point be utilized to bubble water to create power. The dish/motor is a dish-formed mirror that will gather heat from daylight and move it to the liquid inside the motor. The warmth would make the liquid extend and produce mechanical force. A force tower framework utilizes a huge field of mirrors to focus daylight onto the highest point of a pinnacle. This warmth will liquefy salt that courses through the collector and the salts warmth will be utilized to create power through a customary steam generator. With various types of sunlight based board, the cost differs in the range from $5,000 to $30,000, contingent upon the viability and the measure of vitality you use. Despite the fact that the sun based boards are costly, numerous individuals despite everything use them since they imagine that sun p owered vitality is vitality productive and green. One of the points of interest sun based vitality has is being sustainable. For whatever length of time that there are living things on this planet, there will consistently be sun oriented vitality since we get sun powered vitality from daylight. Despite the fact that daylight is absent around evening time, the sun oriented vitality could in any case be put away by charging the batteries during the day and be utilized around evening time. We could then get more daylight on the following day. In addition, sun oriented vitality makes definitely no contamination or commotion, in contrast to different machines. It doesn’t harm the earth by discharging ozone depleting substances or contaminating water, air or land. By utilizing this wellspring of vitality, the air will be cleaner and it helps stop the an unnatural weather change. Other than this, in the long haul, the sun oriented vitality is a lot less expensive than the vitality assets we are utilizing now. Despite the fact that i t is costly, at first the support necessity is exceptionally little and the administration life is around 30 years. The principle drawback of sun based vitality is that it is very costly. This is for the most part why these days, very few individuals utilize sun powered vitality. The cost is excessively expensive. Besides, since our reality is contaminated, the downpour or the mists could square daylight from getting to the boards, making it insufficient. With a shady atmosphere, the boards will have the option to deliver daylight at a more slow rate and may require more boards to create enough power for your home, which will require more cash. Despite the fact that utilizing sun oriented vitality in houses probably won't require gigantic measure of territory, large structures do. To utilize the sun powered boards to their most extreme capacity, they should be in the sun. With greater structures, you will require a lot more boards and to get them to work to their most extreme capacity, you will require an immense measure of zone for the boards to be in the daylight. Despite the fact that sunlight based vitality has a few detriments, the points of interest still overweight the weaknesses since energies are running out and this sun oriented vitality is all over. In the event that we can get the entirety of the vitality that was sent to this planet, we could light the whole planet for one year inside 60 minutes. In any case, the issue with this is we cant. In the event that we can figure out how to reap this vitality, we can have as much power as we need until the finish of the human age. At the present time, there are numerous sustainable power sources that researchers have found yet they are not yet the most ideal approach to unravel the vitality emergency. Along these lines, researchers are as yet looking for new types of vitality. Dull vitality is another type of vitality that is helpful to humanity. Known to man, it is made out of up to 74% dim vitality. What is dim vitality? Dull vitality is the unexplained power that causes the increasing sp eed of the extension of the universe. Despite the fact that there is no proof that the dim vitality exists, individuals concur that it does since they accept that the universe had a start, and is extending. Other than dull vitality, the submerged weight can be another helpful vitality asset. Underneath the water surface, there is a potential consistent wellspring of unused hydroelectric force as profound water pressure. As per Rick Dickson, he had designed an approach to collect this profound water pressure by moving its strain to air and afterward to a cylinder. The name of this procedure is called Ocean Pressure Electric Conversion. In this manner, as we probably am aware, the dim vitality and the hydroelectric force are exceptionally amazing; on the off chance that we could get dim vitality by utilizing a comparable route to the manner in which we get sun oriented vitality and collect the water pressure, Im positive that we could never come up short on vitality again. Works Cited World Energy Crisis . World Energy Crisis . N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Nov. 2012. http://planetforlife.com/. Hindrances Of Solar Energy. Normal Renewable Energy Sources Clean Energy Ideas. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Nov. 2012. http://www.clean-vitality ideas.com/articles/disadvantages_of_solar_energy.html. Weaknesses of Solar Power Solar Energy Disadvantages of Solar Energy. Make strides toward environmental friendliness with Solar Energy. N.p., n.d. Web.

Faking It

Faking It warning: the post below is probably the cheesiest thing i have ever written. it is highly unedited and makes me feel both embarrassed and proud. i usually like to sculpt and edit neurotically, but im trying to see what happens when i dont. The week before my freshman year of college started, I went to Amsterdam and Vienna with my brother and aunt. It was a last hurrah, my final journey into the world as a child. I took this picture lying in my aunts bed, listening to my favorite song of all time, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins. current mood: amsterdam tomorrow, college in a week, 1979 on repeat forever and ever A photo posted by Phoebe (@phxbe) on Aug 14, 2014 at 10:56pm PDT (I havent updated Instagram in over a year, so my profile is cluttered with content from freshman yearshort pink hair (big mistake), the room with dragons, a walk through Boston, a photo from my second-ever concert.) Today, I listened to the same song and suddenly felt overwhelmed by awareness of all the ways I have changed and not changed since that night. I thought about what me-back-then might think of me-today. I think that I have become, outwardly, one of the sorts of upperclassmen I revered as a freshmanovercommitted but never crushed, attends class minimally but is academically successful, has non-academic interests and hobbies, has a pretty good social life. I think I subconsciously have an obsession with never looking like Im trying too hard. Maybe a lot of people are like thisin the first lecture for worldbuilding, Junot Díaz talked about how people need to escape to fictitious worlds to come to terms with the fact that they are weak and vulnerable, because in the real world no one wants to grapple with that, because in real life we all want to be cool. Note also that I am probably a person who could write a treatise about vulnerability and the importance of being emotionally open, but in real life I am not like that at all. I want to be cool, too, and it sounds incredibly lame when I say it out loud, like that, but there it is. Let me tell you, first of all, I am not cool. Go to class; it is not cool to look like youre not trying. I panic about all the class that I miss, mostly because I lack discipline when it comes to sleep. But the story is always, I didnt go to that class at all and I was fine, not I spent hours making up the lectures I missed and did fine in the class but am unsure if I learned the material well enough. I thought about the semester when I spent weekends crying in bed, the exercise journal I kept and meals I skipped for the sake of losing weight, the times I was scared to leave my room and walk to the bathroom because I might run into people, things we dont talk about. Freshman spring, I was the loneliest I have ever been. And yet the public-facing documentation of that semester is 6 straight Asthe best semester Ive ever had. Ive been sitting in bed trying to read notes for 6.867the class I havent attended this semesterand thinking about image, facades, clothes, signalling/posturing, being cool. The things you think about when youre a teenager, I guess. Ive noticed that an irrational sense of shame surrounds my participation in things that are labeled feminine, because, I guess, a lot of those things are also associated with being superficial and unintelligent and emotional. Like fashion and confessional poetry and chick flicks, like watching my weight, like the humanities. My self-esteem sometimes seems to track how good I feel I am at math, because thats the thing I point to when I feel like nothing else countslike, look, I am participating in the study of this very Hard And Scientific And Rigorous field, and I am good at it, so its okay that I spend my time on these other frivolous things. At first, I was embarrassed that I thought like this, but then I was glad that I had noticed, so that I could try to change it. Tomorrow, Im doing a puzzle hunt and Ill probably also be happily overdressed, and it will be a lot of fun. Last semester was difficult, too, because I was sick and sadIm worried about the winter, about November and the sun setting early. I get nervous thinking about spring semester and the way burnout from fall semester seems to carry over, about how difficult things become. But things have gotten better. I remain irrationally self-conscious about gaining weight but I understand that crash dieting doesnt work. I struggle with feeling sad and lonely, especially in the winter, but I know to go through the motions of making plans with people and showing up even when I really dont feel like it, and I know to exercise and to eat and to get enough sleep. And I know that people have struggled harder than me, and I know that Im really, really privileged. It occurred to me, though, that I never write much about how difficult I find things, about struggling, and I think its because Im concerned that Ill look like Im complaining. Im not. I love MIT. I was awash with love for MIT today, the day when I slept through too much of the career fair to find it worthwhile to goI thought about the UROP Im about to start with (in my humble opinion) one of the coolest professors in the (Course 14) game (i will write about this later when it actually begins), the fact that I get to spend six hours a week in a class taught by Junot Díaz, an author I worshipped in high school. I thought about everything Ive learned in the past two years, when I wasnt paying attention, when my mind was on meeting deadlines and trying not to feel crushed. Somewhere along the way, I became a different person. IHTFP. Some things havent changed, though. I went to FredFest (a concert in the East Campus courtyard) today and saw three of my favorite people at MIT, all of whom I met freshman year or earlier. I realized that when Im old, they are going to be my college friends, and if/when I get married they will likely be at my wedding, and even though Im not graduating anytime soon, Im excited to see how our paths cross after college. But that can wait, and for now, Im excited just to wake up tomorrow. (sorry, cheesy and gross, i know, but its true!) 1 This made me think of two things Ive read in the past few months: Realizing Tupac Wasnt Cool, 20 Years Later and The Philosopher of Feelings. From the one about Pac: [Tupac] was cool as s***. He dressed cool and sounded cool and he did cool stuff. But he was so vulnerable. Maybe its just one poser recognizing another. In Changes, Pac raps, It takes skill to be real, time to heal each other. Cool kids didnt talk about healing each other. They werent wounded to begin with. From The Philosopher of Feelings, about the philosopher Martha Nussbaum: I wondered if she approaches her theme of vulnerability with such success because she peers at it from afar, as if it were unfamiliar and exotic. She celebrates the ability to be fragile and exposed, but in her own life she seems to control every interaction. The story describes the contradiction of the philosopher’s paean to spontaneity and her own nature, the least spontaneous, most doggedly, nervously, even fanatically unspontaneous I know.' Also The Power of Vulnerability, a TED talk I had bookmarked on my computer for all of high school. Anyway, if you watch it and think, Well, gee, I make myself pretty vulnerable, Im doing great, I dont need to worry! youre probably not working hard enough.

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